Friday, November 28, 2014

Silence is Deafening



If you had a chance to just sit for 30 minutes without technology, reading material, friends or family what do you think would happen? I had an opportunity to do this the day before Thanksgiving. At the busiest time of the year I gave myself a 30-minute time out that I thought would be a much-needed respite. I had visions of calm and peace and a Zen like ideal half hour. You know like the Lotus Position yoga pose you see on a scenic mountaintop. Being still seemed like heaven on earth. A gift of 30 minutes of sweet solitude and silence.





   
Then the ideal and the real collided.  I set my timer and sat on the edge of my bed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and waited for the blessed serenity I had envisioned. Then the unthinkable happened. My mind started racing! My mind could not stop thinking of all the upcoming tasks. The thoughts were slow at first and then became rapid fire. Thoughts of the next days Thanksgiving dinner and preparations, Christmas shopping, Christmas decorating, homework, Church, our show and housecleaning. I tried to focus on nothingness to get the noise out of my head. While I wasn’t speaking, listening or doing anything the sounds in my head could not be turned off. I started yelling in my head to myself to stop. It disobeyed the command and became louder. The to- do list in my head became overwhelming. I started just checking the boxes on an imaginary paper in my mind. It was anything but peace and tranquility. I reasoned with myself, surely in 30 minutes it would slow down or I would get to the end of my mental task list. While I was thinking this the timer went off. I was frazzled and not one bit calm and rested. My 30 minute mountain top silent Zen experience became a loud unrestful lesson in futility. 










1 comment:

  1. There are some that absolutely love zen, and then there are the ones that become more anxious :)

    ReplyDelete